Author explores loss within family dynamic

Sept. 11, 2012


"And They Still Bloom: A Family's Journey of Loss and Healing" was illustrated by Joel Spector. Reminder Publications submitted photo

By Katelyn Gendron

katelyn@thereminder.com

LONGMEADOW — Longmeadow native Amy Rovere's life didn't cease at age 9 when her mother died from lung cancer or when her grandmother passed away in 2007, rather, the world continued to bloom. In spite of Rovere's best efforts to suppress her grief, she remained unhealed, using her pain to write her first children's book, "And Still They Bloom: A Family's Journey of Loss and Healing."

The American Cancer Society (ACS) is publishing the book, which is illustrated by Joel Spector, and proceeds from the sale of each $14.95 copy go directly to the non-profit.

"People have a hard time speaking about grief even though it is something that we all must face at some point. So much of my life had been spent not dealing with my grief that when I finally did, I began to heal. The book really helped me process my grief," Rovere told Reminder Publications during a phone interview from her workplace as an editorial assistant at the ACS in Georgia. "When children are involved, the job of the parents is to deal with their feelings as well as the feelings of their children."

The loss of her grandmother also prompted Rovere to explore "grief within the family dynamic," as she had to help her daughter and herself process the loss.

While Rovere noted this book is not autobiographical, it does tell the story of a young girl named Emily and her struggle to process the loss of her mother from cancer, alongside her father and brother.

"I wanted to try to provide an example for both parents and children to try and deal with this. I didn't want to tell a story of a parent who tries to lose themselves by drinking to hide away from their grief. It's an idealized parent and I have received criticism from that but I wanted to provide a good example. I'm trying to show that within the family dynamic each member is affected," she explained.

"If there's one thing that I hope the book can accomplish is that it can help start conversations between family members, especially between parents and children. I wanted to try to help bring up the difficult questions. I really hope that people can start talking about these issues. Being able to express these feelings is a huge part of the healing process and if parents aren't modeling these behaviors the children won't know to do it. If [the parents don't express their grief], it shows children that it's too scary to talk about it and that's not a healthy message," Rovere continued.

When asked why Spector was her first choice as illustrator, she replied, "What was so important to me was that the illustrator be able to capture facial expressions and I didn't want it to be cartoonish. He uses pastel and the color jumps off the page. While he conveys illustrations of sadness, the illustrations radiate life and not this black cloud of death."

Rovere said she wanted the title, the storyline and the illustrations "to convey hope."

"It was really tricky coming up with a title that had a positive message but still deals with loss," she explained, noting that the theme of Emily's mother's garden continuing to bloom in spite of her death draws attention to the inevitable evolution of those left behind.

"[Emily] sees signs of life starting to sprout. There are images of the garden blooming [which is illustrated on the book's cover] and the cycles of nature continuing regardless of what's going on in the world. I also liked the idea with the relationship with the children: They will still go on and bloom despite this experience. Their lives are not ending as well," she continued.

When asked if she's considered writing another book, Rovere replied, "I'm still churning as to what I will tackle next. I hope there's another book in my future but I don't know that with this next book I would be a professional writer. If I never do another book again, I feel that through this book I made a significant contribution."

To order a copy of "And Still They Bloom: A Family's Journey of Loss and Healing," call 800-227-2345 or visit www.cancer.org/bookstore.

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