Funny things happen on the way to becoming a Nana |
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Dear Readers,
A funny thing happened on the way to my becoming a Nana. My grandson and daughter are living very close by and I have become the reserve mommy.
I could not be happier with the job, but as with all new jobs, I had to learn the ropes. I began to realize that there are many other grandparents who are doing double duty and wondered how they are coping.
With that in mind I thought I would share with you what I have learned during the past few months:
First and most importantly, you are not the parent. Sit down with your adult child and talk about how she/he is planning to raise the child. Stepping over these boundaries can be a real mess; like the time I decided that chocolate ice cream at 8:30 p.m. was a great plan for my 18 month old. My little guy had been crying and I knew from experience nothing stops crying faster than ice cream-right? Well apparently, I had forgotten that what goes down has to eventually come out and this time not from the bottom.
Yes, I spent a good part of the late evening and early morning hours cleaning up and doing laundry. That in of itself would have been bad enough but my daughter had a screaming child in her arms and a scowl on her face. Okay lesson number one: ask Mom or Dad before feeding the child anything out of the ordinary (especially at 8:30 at night).
Another lesson well-learned had to do with toilet training. My grandson is a genius. Yours is too, I am sure. So I knew he was ready for potty training. My daughter was not so sure but out we went to buy the Elmo potty chair.
"Let's use the potty," I said all excited. "Mom," my daughter replied, "How about if we wait until bath time?"
"No, now," I said in my very mature voice as I whipped off his diaper and plopped him on the chair. Well let me tell you, that genius sat and sat and sat and then stood up and peed all over the floor and himself. Well, bath time was real early that day. Okay, lesson number two: Give mom or dad some credit where credit is due, they do know what they are doing.
I know I will continue to learn as I go along, but the lesson I will never forget is that your baby is probably in her/his 20s or older. This is the child who really needs you now. Being a parent is hard and if we as grandparents can make the journey easier, I say "put on your walking shoes and go for it."
Oh and by the way spoil them all a little. A listening ear, a dinner prepared and delivered, and hugs and kisses go a long way.
Any grandparents wishing to share their stories with me can e-mail me at dcohen@springfieldjcc.org. Remember we are all in this together.
Until next time,
-- Deb
Debbie Cohen is the Early Childhood Director at the Springfield Jewish Community Center (SJCC). Located on the Longeadow/Springfield line, the SJCC is a non-profit organization offering programs for all ages, including preschool and youth programs, adult life programs, and the JCC Health & Fitness Center. Everyone, including the general public, is welcome at the JCC. Visit www.SpringfieldJCC.org for complete details.
Do you have a question for Debbie? E-mail your inquiries to dcohen@springfieldjcc.org |
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