How to make bedtime an easier timeDear Debbie,
Oh, how I wish it were still summer. My kids are having such trouble getting back to the routine of school. Bedtime is a disaster with my six-year-old whining and my nine-year-old complaining about eveything. I start getting a headache as soon as dinner is over, just waiting for the battles to begin. I cannot have another year of this. Please tell me what to do.
Battle-Fatigued Mom
Dear Fatigued,
Sounds like this has been an ongoing problem for your family. Here are some helpful suggestions: I think a round table discussion during the weekend would be a good place to start. Let the children know that you understand that they are still in summer mode but school is here and everyone's schedules will have to adjust. Let them retaliate with their moaning and groaning. (I would moan and groan right along with them!) Now take out some paper and pencils and have each person in the family write a list of things that they love about the school year. Some of their thoughts might be seeing old friends at school, making new friends at school, purchasing back to school clothes, planning a great costume for Halloween, etc. This will remind them of the good stuff that comes along with going back to school. Let them know that they will be so busy with school and fall activities, their bedtimes will have to change so they are ready each morning for a great day at school.
Bedtime will be easier if you have had an enjoyable afternoon and dinnertime. With that in mind, let the children play outside for a while before they settle down to dinner and homework. Have the family eat dinner together as often as possible.
If homework is done in a timely fashion, the children can watch some TV. You must be diligent in deciding what the children can watch. Remember that this is not the time for anything action-packed or frightening, as you want the children to calm down for bedtime. Give the six-year-old the first choice of a half hour show. Once that is over, you and the child will have some alone time before bed. The nine-year-old can now watch a half hour show of his choice while you are with the younger child. Once that show is over, you will be ready for some one on one time with your older child.
Being alone with each child at bed time is a wonderful way to end the day for all of you. This is the time to tell stories, sing songs, rub backs, share dreams for the future and let each child know how much you care for them. Try to end this time with a special song or prayer. This will trigger your child that you are leaving now and it is sleep time. I know that putting active children to sleep on time is a difficult feat. Once they are in bed I will give you the advice my mom still gives me to this day: "Now get in your pajamas and go to bed. It will be time for breakfast before you know it!"
Until next time, be well,
Deb
Debbie Cohen is the Early Childhood Director at the Springfield Jewish Community Center. The JCC is a beneficiary agency of the Jewish Federation of Western Massachusetts and of the United Way of the Pioneer Valley.
Do you have a question for Debbie? E-mail your inquiries to dcohen@springfieldjcc.org or send your inquiry to: Debbie Cohen, Springfield JCC, 1160 Dickinson St., Springfield, MA 01108.
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