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> Features > Ask Debbie > Teaching children how to appreciate what they have
Teaching children how to appreciate what they haveDear Debbie,
This is a difficult letter for me to write but I need some help explaining to my daughters, nine-year-old Karrie and 11-year-old Anna, that we can not afford to do the same stuff as their friend s families. As far as Karrie and Anna are concerned, Everybody goes on real cool vacations and we do nothing but stay home. Our home is not a mansion but believe me, it is a nice home and the girls have everything they need. My husband and I know we are lucky to be working but we do not have discretionary income to pay for every new phone or computer games. Sometimes they make me feel like their whole lives will be ruined if they do not have the newest device. Help!
Thanks,
Strung Out Mom
Dear Strung Out,
You know, March is always a time for viruses and it looks like your girls have come down with one of the most challenging ones. It sounds like the girls have a bad case of the Gimmes. Now don t go rushing to the doctor s office. Save the $25 co-pay and keep reading
I am sure you have had a case of The grass is always greener in your lifetime. Well the girls have caught a slight variant of that, but the cure is similar. We need to help the girls appreciate what they have rather than coveting what they perceive others have. I have some ideas that might just work. Firstly, I am going to ask you to go to the dollar store with the girls and buy (yes buy, but really only at the dollar store) two great looking journals. Let the girls take their time and pick out the journal that suits them best. This is now their Things for which I am thankful journal. They might balk at this but truly they will be surprised at all they have. Start in the kitchen and open up the cabinet with the dry cereal. I bet that each one of them has picked out their favorite cereal and it is sitting right there waiting for them each and every morning. Okay, they will think you have lost a few marbles but encourage them to proceed with this exercise.
Move into the family room. I bet there is a nice TV in there. Hmm, you might ask, I wonder what would happen if we didn t have a TV? Once again " the look from them and the encouragement to write from you. Now go for the computer, the clothes in the closet, the toys and electronics. By now they are getting the point. This is when you hug them both and talk about the real things you have in your lives like each other and the love and trust of a family. Ask the girls to take time each evening before going to bed to write down one thing that has brought them happiness during the day. The more they realize what makes them truly happy the less the they will feel the Gimmes.
A vacation may not be in your budget but there are many cool places to go together as a family that will not cost much. Try a walk in Forest Park or a local wildlife sanctuary (Longmeadow has a great one). If you love animals there is a great dog park in Northampton that is worth checking out. The museums in downtown Springfield are great. The aviation museum by Bradley Airport is also wonderful. Spring and summer bring festivals to our area so check local newspapers, like Reminder Publications, for more information.
One more thing. Your children are going to always aspire to have more. In many ways that is what propels us to study and work hard. It is our job as the adults to keep it in perspective. When you feel the children are ready, you can give them the last dose of medicine by explaining how some folks are homeless or go hungry. You might want to have a piggybank where the family contributes a little each week to donate to a local charity that helps the less fortunate. As a family you could help prepare a meal at a local homeless shelter. All of this will help the children realize that although they do not have everything they could possibly want, they have more than enough.
The Gimmes virus, much like the cold, has a way of finding you when you least expect it. Remembering to be thankful for all the love we have in our lives is the best cure ever.
Until next time, Be well.
Deb
Debbie Cohen is the Early Childhood Director at the Springfield Jewish Community Center. The JCC is a beneficiary agency of the Jewish Federation of Western Massachusetts and of the United Way of the Pioneer Valley. Everyone, including the general public, is welcome at this nationally-accredited preschool.
Do you have a question for Debbie? E-mail your inquiries to dcohen@springfieldjcc.org or send your inquiry to: Debbie Cohen, Springfield JCC, 1160 Dickinson St., Springfield, MA 01108.
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