Times when we don't feel Confident
Dear Debbie,
My daughter Jenna is 5 and in a pre-k program. Her teachers say she is a good girl and has lots of friends. The problem is that her teachers also tell me she has no confidence in herself. She won't try to do something unless she is sure she can do it. For instance, she resists writing her name or even putting on her jacket. My husband and I don't see this at home but now that I am thinking about it, maybe we do "baby" her too much. Just wondering what we can do help increase her self confidence.
Thanks for you help.
-Wondering mom
Dear Wondering,
In the first place, stop worrying. We all have times when we are not feeling as confident as we should. Knowing that Jenna has friends in school tells me that she has many positive skills and traits that make others want to be with her. Let's build on those traits to increase her confidence so she can be the best Jenna she can be.
Ask the teachers what activities they would like to see Jenna try. You can be an active partner with the teachers to see that Jenna masters the skills she needs. For example, to help her feel confident in the writing center you can give Jenna at-home opportunities to practice her writing skills. Big pencils, markers, crayons, and large paper are all you need. It is your job to give her encouragement to write her name (and other letters too) all the time. Jenna can help you write the grocery list, a letter to a family member or friend who lives far from home, a note telling mom and dad how much she loves them, etc. Remember that Jenna may need help with the spelling of the words or, better yet, let her use "inventive spelling" as she sounds out the words.
As far as putting on her coat, practice is key. Let me see if I can share this trick with you: Have Jenna stand in front of you, facing you, put the coat on the floor with the collar open and by her toes. Jenna bends down and puts her arms into the arm holes and flips the coat up and over her head onto her back. Remember that zippers and buttons are hard to do. Try having Jenna practice on clothing not being worn at the time. Old sweaters with big buttons and zippers on jackets made of sturdy material work best.
It is also important for Jenna to see you and your husband try something that you have not mastered. Let me suggest going bowling as a family. I have always found bowling to be a great equalizer. Getting a gutter ball might not be good for your ego but having Jenna see you being a good sport and trying again will help her understand that none of us is perfect at everything we do. Keep trying, be silly, and most importantly have fun.
Until next time, be well.
-Deb
Debbie Cohen is the Early Childhood Associate Director at the Springfield Jewish Community Center. The JCC is a constituent agency of the Jewish Federation of Greater Springfield and of the Community United Way of Pioneer Valley. Do you have a question for Debbie? Email your inquiries to dcohen@springfieldjcc.org or send your inquiry to: Debbie Cohen, Springfield JCC, 1160 Dickinson Street, Springfield, MA 01108.
|
|
