WMEPA addresses bullying, intimidation among seniors
Oct. 9,
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SOUTH HADLEY – More than 60 members of the Western Massachusetts Eldercare Professional Association (WMEPA) met on Sept. 25 at Wingate at South Hadley to discuss bullying and intimidation within the senior population.
Bullying drew national attention after a bullied South Hadley teenager committed suicide in 2010, and recently when an elderly bus monitor was taunted by the students in her care. While one might think seniors "know better," ignorance and fear often create an intimidating environment in places like senior centers or retirement communities. It's not uncommon to see bridge players, for example, exclude a newcomer based on race, ethnicity, religion, or perceived sexual orientation.
"The term 'bullying' can be overused," J.M. Sorrell, program director for Highland Valley Elder Services, said. "Sometimes a person is just upset and vocal about it. But when a person abuses power or makes a threat, that is very different."
Recognizing bullying can be difficult. Sometimes a person has mild cognitive impairment, causing an inability to interact appropriately. But many times a senior is simply intolerant, lacks empathy, or tries to control situations because they feel otherwise powerless, like after a move to a nursing home.
"When these things happen, we consult appropriate staff," Betty Wegiel, activities director at Wingate at South Hadley, said.
Sorrell added, "People need to move beyond their fear of retaliation for speaking up. It's been my experience that administrators will always want to know of such information so it can be dealt with immediately."
Creative and practical solutions may prevent triggers for heated situations. This could mean seating Obama and Romney supporters at different lunch tables or better still, creating a Code of Conduct for acceptable and unacceptable behavior, which could list things like "We will not discuss political issues at lunchtime."
"Stick by your rules. When bad behavior occurs, nip it in the bud so that others will know you mean business," Laurie Cassidy, director of the West Springfield Senior Center, said.
Intervention empowers others to speak up too. The key, of course, is not to allow others to "bully the bully" in return. Validate the bully's feelings and always show respect and compassion, she added.
When bullying is repetitive and does not stop, legal action may be in order, especially in the case of mandated reporters. "When I get calls bordering on abuse, there are so many questions that need to be addressed – such as 'What is the mental competency of each person? Is this a social or legal issue?'" Attorney Gina Barry asked.
Barry said that generally legal action should be taken as a last resort, as legal action often inflames the situation, making it more emotional and thus, harder to resolve.
"There is no magic pill. Bullying is complicated and situational," Sorrell said. "But there are no bystanders. If you have a moral compass, these situations can stay with you for a lifetime."
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